12 Different Parenting Styles And Their Effects On Kids
A parenting style is a psychological practice which is adopted by the parents. It represents the standard child discipline strategies that parents use in their child rearing. Child rearing plays an important role in fostering the child’s growth and development. There are 12 different Parenting Styles that parents follow according to their parenting style.
According to the family cultures, the parenting styles may differ in each and every family. Parenting styles are known to have two dimensions of parenting behavior: Those are:
- Demandingness: The parents who control their children’s behavior or demand their maturity is known as Demandingness.
2. Responsiveness: The parents who are accepting all the wishes of their child and are sensitive to their children’s emotional and developmental needs are known as Responsiveness.
There are 12 different types of Parenting Styles and approaches that evolve gradually. The parenting styles are divided between the bases of high-level awareness approach, scientific approach, and unfortunate parenting approach. Also, read Best Tips For Disciplining A Toddler.
I. 5 Modern Western Parenting Styles:
The Modern Western Parenting Styles aims at keeping a positive and deep relationship with the children. It consists of deep presence, intimate connection, unconditional love, mutual respect and full acceptance along with basic trust in children, their abilities, skills, and knowledge!
1. Positive Parenting:
It is a relatively new phenomenon which was coined in 1998 by American psychologist Martin Seligman. It is all about developing a strong and deep relationship between parents and child. The base of positive parenting is proper communication and mutual respect. The parents not only teach their child ‘WHAT’ but ‘WHY’ as well.
The first rule of positive parenting is to be a loving parent rather than authoritative rather than obey orders based on fear of punishment, in order to develop self-discipline. In this, the parents are active listeners and able to understand their child’s thought process.
2. Attachment Parenting (Intuitive Parenting or Natural Parenting):
Attachment Parenting was coined and developed by the professor of pediatrics, Dr. Sears. Attachment Parenting improves the child’s behavior and development. This kind of parenting strengthens the intuitive, psychological, and emotional bond of a parent and a baby (infant), typically the mother and the infant.
It is said that the children with this kind of parenting becomes more confident and are more sensitive. The parents can read baby’s cues and respond intuitively. It is easier to discipline them. The babies become keen observers. It is believed that later on when the child grows, there is a feeling of connectedness among the parents and child. There are more lively interactions from both sides. And best of all, it brings out the best in each other.
3. Unconditional Parenting (Conscious Parenting):
Unconditional Parenting was coined by author Alfie Kohn. This Parenting style involves supporting and accepting the child irrespective of how he or she behaves or regardless of their actions. This kind of parenting helps the child in gaining the experience of being valued and being loved unconditionally.
It is very important for a child to equate his or her actions with the self-worth. In such a manner, the child will tend to show ‘good behavior’ because he or she has learned that the good behavior leads to approval and attention of the parents.
4. Spiritual Parenting (Holistic Parenting):
Spiritual parenting is about respecting each child’s individuality and create the space for each child to develop his or her own beliefs based on his or her unique personality and individual potentials. There are a few principles which every parent must follow while observing the spiritual parenting. These are:
- Always trust your child.
- Teach your child that his or her life has a purpose.
- Always listen to your child before taking any action.
- Use your words wisely.
- Encourage your child’s dreams.
- Add magic to the ordinary.
- Create a flexible environment for your child.
- Be a positive mirror for your child.
- Don’t put any pressure on the child.
- Make each day a new beginning.
5. Slow Parenting (Nurturant Parenting):
Slow Parenting aims at the overprotective parenting styles which have been derived from the modern western parenting. This kind of parenting not only provides the space for children to find their own interests but also allowing children to be contented with their own accomplishments.
Slow parenting fosters quality over quantity. It’s all about being in the moment and making deep relations with the family. Carrie Contey has said, “Slowing down and connecting with each other is about being mindful of what you’re doing.”
II. Diana Baumrind’s 4 Parenting Styles:
Diana Baumrind is known for her research in parenting styles. She has two dimensions of parenting. The first was “Parental responsiveness” which refers to the degree the parent responds to the child’s needs. The second was “Parental demandingness” which is the extent to which the parent expects more mature and responsible behavior from a child. Using these two dimensions, she recognizes four different parenting styles:
6. Authoritative Parenting:
Authoritative Parenting is considered to be as high demandingness and high parental responsiveness. It is believed that parents who opt for this parenting style have long-lasting effects on their child. The children show improved self-confidence and social skills. The kids are better behaved and have an easier transition to adulthood.
With such parenting style, parents need to be very clear with their expectations so kids know what lies ahead. It not only encourages independent thinking for a child but also involves a child in the discussions. This seeks to create a decent boundary for a child to feel secure, but not overprotective that they aren’t able to take risks.
7. Authoritarian Parenting:
Authoritarian Parenting is considered to be as high demandingness and low parental responsiveness. Such parents tend to be very demanding and ruling in every aspect of their children’s life.The parents share less warmth and prefer nagging over loving their child. In Authoritarian parenting, parents don’t trust their children to make good choices. They may even punish their kid for misbehaving which also includes spanking.
A child is bound by their parents’ to follow the ‘Rules’ they have made. Due to this parenting practice, some children have more aggressive behavior. They may act fearful or overly shy around others. Because of this, often have lower self-esteem. A child may be less competent and finds it difficult to engage with people.
8. Permissive Parenting (Indulgent Parenting):
Permissive Parenting is considered to be as low demandingness and high parental responsiveness. Such parents tend to be loving and caring. They often seem more like a friend than a parental figure to the children. In Permissive Parenting, the parents emphasize their children’s freedom rather than responsibility. The children’s opinions are important for the parents.
The effects of Permissive Parenting tends to lack self-discipline, possess poor social skills. The children may even be very demanding and may feel insecure due to the lack of boundaries.
9. Neglectful Parenting /Uninvolved Parenting:
Neglectful Parenting is considered to be neither demanding nor responsive. In such parenting style, the parents are emotionally distant from their children. They show very less love and affection towards their children. Such parents may even avoid their children and have very little expectations or demands for behavior.
Obviously, this affects the children in the long run. The children brought up with such parenting style are afraid to be dependent on others due to the lack of family support. They are often emotionally withdrawn.
They tend to exhibit criminal offenses and risk of substance abuse.
III. 3 Unfortunate Parenting Styles:
The Unfortunate Parenting Styles of modern parenting have negative behavior, emotional damage and even damaging outcome among the children.
10. Helicopter Parenting/ Overparenting :
Helicopter Parenting is a parenting style in which parents over-focus on their kids and keep hovering all over for doing even small things that kids can do by themselves. Basically, they try to overcontrol, overprotect, and over perfect their children in every way.
Also, this creates resentment among the kids. It is believed that through Overparenting, the children may have lack of confidence. The children would even lack social and problem-solving skills. They became dependent rather than being independent.
11. Narcissistic Parenting:
In Narcissistic Parenting, the parent is said to be very possessive over their kids. This parenting style is similar to that of Helicopter Parenting. Parents are known to be envious of their child’s independence. The parents are not only envious but they also think that their child is there to fulfill the parents’ needs. Such parental behavior can have lifelong effects on the child.
Because of this, the child grows up to be stubborn and disconnected from the world. It is also seen that the child never develops his opinion a voice of his own in childhood which latter affects their adulthood, too.
12. Toxic Parenting:
Toxic Parenting is a kind of parenting style in which parents abuse their children verbally, physically or sexually. Parents who are inadequate or ignore their children’s emotional needs also falls into this category. Because of such activity, this affects the overall life of a child.
This leaves a very bad impact on a child’s life. Such children are ought to grow into burdened adults with very low self-esteem and poor self-image.
In my opinion, to brought up a child, the best parenting practices are all five kinds of modern western parenting styles. These include Positive Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Spiritual Parenting, and Slow Parenting. Also, I would suggest Authoritative Parenting from Diana Baumrind’s traditional parenting style.
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